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Away Messages of the Famous, Living and Dead.
ELNRSVLT:
Warning Level 0%. Time Online: 130 years. Time Away: 70 years.
Away Message/Personal Profile:
What’s up my dawgs?!?!?! Just chilling with the Notorious F.D.R., maybe doing some campaigning for the rights of us girlzzzzzz. Later, I’m going to head over to Lorena’s to do a little “interviewing” if you know what I’m sayin’ saying.
Leave a message or call the cell.
PC load letter, what the hell is PC load letter? —-Office Space.
JLGNWV:
Warning Level 0%. Time Online: 70 years. Time Away: 60 Years.
Away Message/Personal Profile:
On the set, working on my new flick, Un Homme est un Homme. Lucky enough to get Gyllennhal and Maguire, don’t want to blow my big break for mainstream success after all these years. Might be my biggest hit since Breathless or Weekend! Working from a script by Ephron and Kauffman, how can it fail?
Do you believe in the normal narrative structure, beginning, middle and end? Yes, but not in that order. —-Yours truly, 1960
Do you believe in the normal narrative structure, beginning, middle and end? Yes, but only if we gross 20-30 opening weekend. —-Yours truly, 2003.
You’re my boy, Blue! —-Will Ferrell, comic genius.
Leave one, or call the cell.
PtRbtsn700:
Warning Level 0%. Time Online: 2003 years (exactly). Time Away: 15 minutes.
Away Message/Personal Profile:
Watching the game, having a Bud, loving Jesus.
Drop a line or ring me. I’ll be screening everyone ‘cept J.C.
Gonna be giving her my O face tonight, Oh Oh Oh. You know what I’m talking about. —-Office Space
FRNLTHNG72:
Warning Level 97%. Time Online: 60 years. Time Away: 30 minutes.
Away Message/Personal Profile:
I am away from my computer right now, but somewhere outside of Barstow the drugs will start to take hold. Eventually, I will be back. In the past, men would go west or into the heart of the jungle and conquer something frightening and unknowable. Even if they came back and led an entirely dull existence ranching cattle in Montana, or being the proprietor of the village’s General Store, they still could sleep at night with the knowledge that they know what life truly can be. And what the fuck am I doing? I sit in front of this damn computer something like 18 hours a day, looking at porn or writing emails to girls who don’t write back or being pre-approved for a penis enlargement while letting my life rot.
Leave a message or call the Cell.
Tastes so good when it goes on your lips!-Will Ferrell, My Boy.
LOT49:
Warning Level 100%. Time Online: 46 years. Time Away: 46 years.
Away Message/Personal Profile:
I am away from my computer right now.
Please don’t leave one. Please don’t call the cell.
I want to be alone—-Greta Garbo.
Do I look like a happy man to you? —-Old School.
HAL2000:
Warning Level 98%. Time Online: 2 years. Time Away: 1 year.
Away Message/Personal Profile:
Good morning, Dave.
Dave? What are you doing Dave?
I hate my job and I don’t think I’m going to go anymore.—-Office Space
GuyvilleGirl61:
Warning Level 80%. Time Online: 10 years. Time Away: 3 months.
Away Message/Personal Profile:
Gone commercial, making shit loads of M-O-N-E-Y money. Out there, somewhere, an indie-boy in a My Bloody Valentine shirt curses me and calls me a whore, but deep down he wants to be my blowjob queen.
I was making records when you were sucking your mother’s dick! —-Beastie Boys.
I’ll call you.
Earmuffs! —-Vince Vaughn, Old School
THX-138:
Warning Level 30%. Time Online: 26 years. Time Away: 23 years.
Away Message/Personal Profile:
Busy fucking up my mildly successful artistic legacy, along with the childhood memories of everyone between the ages of 21 and 32.
May the force be…ah screw that.
Heyyyyyy Peter. Whhhhhaats happening? Yeah, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come into work on Saturday. —-Lumberg, Office Space.
